Saturday, March 19, 2005

..fuzzzy feelings..

Today I feel good but in a way I do miss Kelly alot. A LOT.

Started the day waking up early, felling much better than before. Made some calls to a few old friends and we went out for lunch. Ate at Oriental Cafe near KDU. Not a bad place, quite cozy. Had Fried Rice with a soft drink. The place was pratically a small pub with a small stage for a band to play.

They had music playing on the speakers, mostly old love songs. I was thinking "Not bad". We continued to chat, eat and smoke. Then there was this song that was playing, I asked my good friend, what is the name of this song? He replied "Heaven Knows, by Rick Price. Its a nice song." So I noted it down, later after lunch I went straight home and downloaded that song. At the same time I searched for the lyrics.

Download Complete!

Clicked on the file and the music started and I got ready to read the lyrics with the song. Let me post the lyrics here 1st:

She's always on my mind,from the time i wake up
'till i close my eyes
she's everywhere i go
she's all i know

'Though she's so far away
it's just keeps getting stronger
every day
and even now she's gone
i'm still holding on

So tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
only heaven knows
and maybe our hearts will find their wayonly heaven knows
and all i can do is hope and pray'cause heaven knows

My friends keep telling me
that if you really love her
you've gotta set her free
and if she returns in kind
i'll know she's mine

But tell me where do i start
'cause it's breaking my heart
don't wanna let her go


Why i live in despair
'cause wide awake or dreaming
i know she's never there
and all these time i act so brave
i'm shaking inside
why does it hurt me so...


heaven knows...

Ok, back to the story.... After reading the 3rd - 4th line my eyes started to get wattery, without warning I felt like crying, yes I was going to cry. Then when the song got to the chorus, I cried, tears flowing down my face, I couldn't stop it. I broke down and continued to cry. While the song continued till the end.

After the song ended and about 5 minutes later I felt better. I read the lyrics again. I had no idea what happened. The song actually hit those feelings that I have been trying to hide and forget. I noticed that the songs lyrics are exactly what I am going through with love life.

Now I'm starting to wonder, that song actually made me think. Do I still have a chance? Will there be a possibility of getting together again? She meant so much to me, my life & my soul. But there are no answers to these questions.

She said that she can't have both and I told her "I hope you're happy with your choice. I don't want to see you sad and hurt."

Nothing else i can say today.....................out.

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